I Am a Teenage Loser..

The new video for Against Me!'s "I Was a Teenage Anarchist" is great. I love it.

I drank a little too much last night and got sick. Half way through throwing up I looked up at my best friend and said, "How does Amy Weinhouse do it?" Haha. Never again tequila.. never again. I still got to class on time, though.

So I'm sitting in my friend's apartment on the upper east side of Manhattan and I realized how lame it is that I live in New York City and the only celebrity sighting I've ever had was Larry King in front of the ESPN zone in Times Square. Pitiful.

New tattoo soon. Love those needles.

MK

I hate the subway...

with every fiber of my being. Just the thought of taking it tomorrow morning at rush hour sparks up enough contempt to inspire me to blog about it.

My goal in life is to be rich enough to have the luxury of forgetting how the NYC subway map looks like. It's a high, but attainable, thing to aspire to.

I spend three hours a day on trains. I'm going to regret that on my deathbed. I really hope it pays off and I get into med school after 4 years of it. Being a medical examiner is the only thing I want to do with my life. If it doesn't work out, I have no clue what what's going to happen.

fingers crossed*

MK

Random Thoughts

I'm just going to use this thing to jot down random thoughts rather than make long pretentious arguments like the previous entries. So here you go:

There is good music out there today. These assholes hung up on the thought that the only good music ever created was in the 60's & 70's are just too lazy to put a little effort into finding good music. I love putting the effort in because the payoff is amazing- you get to hear music you genuinely love, and the bands actually appreciate your interest. I guess there are people who'd rather spend their lives watching youtube videos of bands that broke up before their parents hit puberty. Just sayin'.

I saw Against Me! last night at the Crazy Donkey. Yeah I guess I do love AM! that much to leave Queens and go to Long Island, believe me that's dedication hahaha. They've been getting a lot of shit for their last few records, but my ears just love anything they do. He said about 2 sentences the whole set. No bullshit, just songs. Admirable.

The heat is starting to blaze here in NYC. Nothing is more uncomfortable than a hot subway car, which gets better when you're greeted by scorching blacktop upon exit from the station. Maybe I'll take my new guitar to Central Park with Kylie sometime soon.

MK

Monogamy?

What's that?

I have a pretty good feeling that not-so-distant future generations will be asking that question. Monogamy is something that's been an issue my entire life. My parents divorced when I was nine months old due to my father's inability to maintain it, and over the years I watch various friends of mine fail to practice it. But now more than ever, thanks to Tiger, Jesse, and plenty of other dbags, my mind has been racing over the idea of exclusivity- and I've come to a pretty good understanding of how I feel about it and why.

Today's society is obsessed with instant gratification. The DMV is about the only process left that's expected to take a considerable amount of time, and people never shut the fuck up about it. Almost verything from music (I'm guilty of listening to leaked albums and staying up to 12:01AM to buy an album on iTunes) to test grades is instant. Waiting is practically obsolete- I'm not saying it's bad, I just think it's partly to blame for the rise in unfaithfulness, and why it's becoming less of an evil than it once was.

We're so used to getting what we want when we want it, and sex is no exception. The sex addiction b.s. and "it was only sex" excuses blossom from this point. No one wants to wait anymore, not even long enough to get home to your parter/spouse/whatever. I know everyone has needs and all that shit, but if you haven't had sex with your spouse for over 5 years, then why are you still married? Acknowledge when shit's not working, either try to fix it or cut your losses and leave.

Here's the thing, if you want to sleep around with tons of women and/or men, go right ahead. No judgment. Just be responsible about it and practice safe sex. I guess what I'm saying is be honest with yourself. If you know you're the kind of person who gets bored much too easily, that's fine, but make sure to be clear about what you're looking for and your intentions. Don't go making promises you can't/have absolutely no intention of keeping.

If you do decide to enter a serious relationship, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. I think a very important part of love is the ability to put someone before yourself. If you really do love and care about someone, you will put them before your own desires. Cheating is just a downright selfish act- you KNOW what you're doing will hurt the person you "love" and you continue to do it anyway. Why? For an awesome feeling that lasts about a minute.

Love is something you can't plan or force... obviously. If someone I was in a serious relationship with had legitimately fallen in love with someone else, I wouldn't shackle them to me. Although it'd probably hurt a lot, I'd let them go- because if I really loved him, I'd want him to be happy. Feelings do change, and to be honest and open about it is about as close as you can get to ending a relationship "the right way."

I guess this is just a plea for the world to remember what love is, what it's not, and for people to be honest with themselves.

MK

Slap In The Face

About three minutes ago, I had one of the (in my opinion) best feelings in the world: When your iTunes is on shuffle, and a song you used to LOVE but haven't heard in a few years comes on. It's almost like the song can't play fast enough; I need to hear it all right now kind of feeling.

What is the song you ask? "City Lights" by an incredibly underrated band by the name of Over It. This quintet from Virginia have had a ridiculously big influence on me, and are one of only two bands I've inked myself for. The other band is the Goo Goo Dolls *you judge me here* but I'll save that for another post. If you've heard any of their stuff from before 1995, you probably worship them too.

BUT ON TO THE POINT!

Over It. Awesome.
RunnerRunner? Not so much.
Explination:

Over It has been on a sort of hiatus since about 2007. About a year before they made an awesome addition in the form of a super badass guitarist named Ryan- also the front man for a great band named Don't Look Down. In 2008, their bassist left, who was really nice by the way, and was replaced with the bassist from Rufio - also a great band. So in 2009 Over It announced a "side project" named RunnerRunner. I was a little scared at the aspect of my favorite band breaking up, but learned it wasn't really a side project because all 5 members were involved. So WTF right?

Turns out RR kinda sucks. Now let me preface this with the fact that I've been to so many Over It and RunnerRunner (just for support) shows that I've actually become rather friendly with members of the band(s?). These guys are the nicest ever. I respect them and their decisions about their careers totally. But something about this just feels wrong.

The only thing I can compare it to is watching a really beautiful and intelligent girl dumb herself down on a date so that the guy won't be intimidated or turned off.

I'd be totally cool if they legitimately decided to switch to the pop genre, but this new music just breaks my heart. I know their totally capable of better, and every time I go to a RR show and see preteens rocking out I just want to pull them all aside and show them the boys creating what they want to create. That's what it is.. I feel like they're not doing what they want to do, and it aggravates me.

Whatever.. because they signed to Capitol Records- so someone likes this garbage. The sad part is that it's not even garbage, it's just garbage for them. Over It is gold and makes RR look like trash. I honestly wish them success, though. If you sell out you should at least make a buck, eh? I'm a total hypocrite because I'll keep going to the local RR shows haha.

Long story short, that feeling I had earlier was crushed by a feeling of sadness. Sadness that I'll never hear new stuff of that caliber again. Or will I? That's the worst part. They never really broke up. So I'm kept on my toes for years desperately hoping for a new record, and that's kind of fucked up. Closure. That's all I want.

Well if any of you guys read this- I understand you want to make a living doing what you love. But just understand when you pull dick moves (like pseudo breaking up, selling out, and leaving your die-hard fans in limbo) you're gonna break some hearts.

If you're interested:
www.myspace.com/overit
www.myspace.com/runnerrunnermusic
there's a 99.9% chance you'll agree with this post.

NIGHT YALL.

Handle With Care

A little over two hours ago, my cat (that I've just named now) was run over by a car. She was bounding across the street to greet brother coming home when she was struck, and killed. It seems kind of shallow to be so upset over a cat with so many more important problems in the world, but she was something I really loved. And when love it taken away, it always hurts. I was blessed with Bella's love for about a year. That's a lot of love that was taken away from me, so the hurt is proportional. I decided to name her Bella simply because she was beautiful. How Bella became our pet is really quite a story, and I'd like to jot it down, if only for myself, before it fades away in my mind. I hope you enjoy it too.

The first time I saw Bella, was very early spring of 2009 in my backyard. At first I thought she was just another stray cat, and didn't really care about her. I was never really much of a cat person, considering my face blew up whenever I came within ten feet of one, but I made a kissy noise anyway to see if I could call her over. To my surprise she started to come towards me, but stopped about half way before about facing and running away. After that I never really beckoned her again.

As spring went on and I'd have tea out on my deck in the mornings, Bella would come closer and closer. Eventually she let me start petting her. Before long, she was meeting me out there every weekday morning to have our breakfast together, and on weekends shed sit outside my screen door and wait for me to wake up. She was beginning to grow on me, so I bought her some cat food. It was the least I could do after she'd been waiting for hours.

Before long that wasn't enough. She'd constantly be at my door meowing for attention. I'd open the screen door to pet her, and she'd stick her paw in to prevent me from closing it- because she wasn't done with me yet. In the beginning of July, she disappeared for a few days, only to reappear with 4 GORGEOUS kittens. Two were white & pointed with blue eyes, and the other two were black with white paws and green eyes. My mother and I decided to tie yarn to our lawn furniture so the five of them would have something to play with. They had a ball. The kittens were too cute to be strays, so we gave them to a shelter, and they were adopted instantly. They offered to take Bella too, but I declined. I would miss her face at my door too much.

My mother went on vacation in September, and that was when my brother and I let her in the house for the first time. She was a perfect lady. I'm almost convinced she was someone's cat before ours; she just knew how to behave in a home. She let us pick her up, hold her like a baby, kiss her paws, and kiss her face. Even though I've always had really bad allergic reactions to cats, around her I never got more than a runny nose. Once my mom returned home, we showed her how well behaved she was in the house. She let us get a bed and food bowl for her so she could spend nights. A neighbor of ours arranged with a shelter for her to be spayed and vaccinated for free. She had moved in.

I'll never forget the first night she found my bed. I sleep in type of bunk bed that has the dresser and desk underneath, so she had to climb up a ladder to get to me. I just remember being awoken one night in December by little footsteps on my legs. She curled up right next to me, and that's the way it's been ever since... until today. She'd lick my face, like a dog, to get me up every morning- always about five minutes before my alarm went off. She'd even groom my hair. She was trying to take care of me.

When ever you talked to her, she'd meow back.

This morning we went through the same routine. We usually let her outside when everyone was out of the house. Before I let her out I always give her a kiss on the nose. I'm so glad I did that today.

I probably seem like some kind of crazy cat lady, but I hated cats until she came along. She came to my door every day until I loved her. No person has ever worked that hard for my affection in my life. I just think there's something to be said for that.

If you take anything from this post, which probably has a TON of typos since I'm crying as I write this, just appreciate the people (and animals) in your life that love you. If you love someone, tell them. Never go to bed angry, work things out. Life is so incredibly fragile, and it can be taken away at a moments notice. Death is all around us, it's only a matter of time before it comes into your life.

Rest in peace Bella, I love you so much.
























-MK

I can't believe I did this.

I feel narcissistic for creating a blog... but I know people with about a third of my brain capacity who have one, so maybe there is someone out there wants to hear what I have to say.

Probably not, but I digress.

As I look at my cat, who I've yet to name, absolutely passed out in fetal position on my bed, all I can think about is how I can't wait to join her, haha. So I figure share a few thoughts I had this week, nothing special. If you're looking for something exciting- you will not find it in this post, so just leave now.

Bill Maher has dominated the HBO airwaves this past week, so of course I been mulling over the idea of religion, and I've decided it's ludicrous. The fact that anyone thinks they know anything about the universe just shows what assholes we are as a species. If the creation of life, and the universe, was something our little brains were capable of understanding the Earth would be populated with creatures resembling stick figures. In the words of my mother, "No one's ever come back to tell us." Why is it so hard for us to admit we don't have the answers. If you want to be a good person, be one because you want to be, because you want to make the world a happier place, because you want to make life a little easier for someone else, because you enjoy seeing a genuine smile - NOT because you're afraid of getting your ass hairs singed in the fiery depths of hell. My Catholic School education has tried hard for 12 years to make me afraid of that, fortunately it didn't work. And if you're reading this thinking "this dumb bitch doesn't have a clue about anything".... yeah well, at least I admit it.

I've decided on my next two tattoos today. I'm going to get my mother's initials in her handwriting on my right wrist, and the outline of a palm tree logo from my favorite band Over It on my inside left ankle. I have never met a person with a tattoo that admits to regretting it. I'm only 19, but I have two tattoos that I waited until legal age to get (here in New York City that's 18). I love them. I know I've only had them for a year and a half, but I can't ever imagine not loving them. I think that strictly aesthetic tattoos, ones with no deeper personal meaning or representation, are the ones people end up regretting. So ink yourselves up kids. It's your body, have a ball.

I feel like I'm treating this thing more as a journal. Oh well.

MK